it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize