Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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