Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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