I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
