how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
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