I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
