Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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