we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
