I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
