This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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