I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
