I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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