I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Boobs are out for the taking
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
