I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
