the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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