We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The air was thick with penises
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
