Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
