I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
