Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
