Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize