im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
