I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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