I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your penis caused this!
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