her vagine was all disorganized.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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