Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
