Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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