So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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