i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
