I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
