Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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