i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
