Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
