My room smells like vodka and shame
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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