Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
