Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
