I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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