My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
