i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
