fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
