Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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