go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize