Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
