He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
