i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
