i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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