im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
