I don't think brook has ever known best
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize