On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
