If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
