do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
