R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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