I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
