he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
