We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
