if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
