the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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