I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
