Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
