these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
