R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
