Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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