can u get pink eye on your cock?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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