Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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