Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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