Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
